People and the internet at large have strong feelings about men and women who choose not to wear rings despite taking the proverbial plunge. The most common opinion is that married individuals who eschew the band are looking to cheat.
Or that they are subconsciously feeling trapped in the marriage and refusal to wear a ring is an act of rebellion.
There may have been a time, or more accurately a relationship, when I would have subscribed to such fatalist assessments of the choice to go ringless. But, much like I don’t feel compelled to check The One’s™ email or monitor his incoming calls, my sentiments on the naked finger are centered around the trust I have in him and our relationship. To quote the horrifyingly common pickup line I heard when drunk dudes made a pass at me while I a. Was engaged b. Pretending to be engaged: “Rings don’t plug holes [people who care about their significant other so much that they would never cheat on them do].” (I added that last bit.)
Things that rings do do. Get caught on machinery. Cause injuries at the gym. Feel uncomfortable on bloaty days. Get lost when your husband can’t stop fidgeting with it thanks to his uncontrollable, unmedicated ADHD. You can guess which one pertains to my situation.
In my case, it also doesn’t hurt that The One™opted for a wedding tattoo, but let’s be honest, that’s not as visible at a glance as a gleaming band even if it is more permanent.
I know this topic has been covered to death, but I guess that’s what intrigues me about it. Why are people taking such a hard stance against couples who mutually agree that one or both parties won’t be wearing a wedding band? Does it matter?
This girl would argue that it’s a married man’s duty to wear a ring so she doesn’t waste her time, but if she’s anything like me, she’s not going to make a move either way. And if she does, a decent guy is going to give her the hard pass because that’s what humans do.
My parents have been married for 37 years and my dad has worn his wedding ring for a total of one day in 13,505. It never actually fit completely on his finger because he has man hands from all the trees he chops down for funsies. And not once in their 37 years was infidelity even a whisper in either of my parents’ minds. Part of this could be attributed to the fact that they live in a town where nearly every resident likely attended the wedding, so it would be pretty hard to pull one over on the single ladies of the village.
And, in the case of my father and The One™ most conversations they have on a daily basis naturally flit back to their wives in the same way that all of my conversations drift back to my cat. Because we’re not monsters and we talk about the people we spend our lives with.
The moral of the story? Marry someone you love and trust. The rest is just details.