Women are idiots. I know this, because, as a woman, I’m an idiot. We take every little look, touch, clothing choice, text, e-mail, Facebook status update, etc. and read everything we can into it. I hear girls give their account of a dating situation, seeking a well-intentioned but completely inaccurate analysis from their friends and they sound like the flighty back up singers of a Betty Everett song.
Don’t Call Me Baby
What is it about pet names that causes virtual strangers think they can use them in their sad, desperate attempt at closing a girl? The word “baby” does not carry the magical weight of abracadabra, yet I’ve seen men use in a manner that suggests they are hoping to make the beautiful assistant’s clothes instantly disappear. Maybe this works on girls lacking brain cells and self worth, but I can’t imagine the average girl would be swept away the moment a guy whispers sweet nothings into her ear. This is especially irritating in cases where the individual attempts to invoke the power of a pet name when they barely know my given name.
The Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Man…Act II
If my recent experiences are any indication, the disappearing act has regrettably become a regular part of modern dating behavior. The previously mentioned boy—the one who caused those awkward teenage girl feelings—inexplicably pulled the untenable maneuver last week. After showing a fair amount of interest on the first couple dates, asking to see me again and setting up a date he would ultimately blow off, the guy vanished.
Liking Someone is Teh Suck
I’ve recently met someone I actually like. This is an incredibly unusual occurrence for me in recent years. I’ve met people I’ve been attracted to. I’ve met people with whom I enjoy spending time. I’ve met people who make me laugh. Still, that perfect storm that causes those crazy/mushy/hopeful/ridiculous sentiments has been absent.
The Return of the Lying Narcissist
About a month ago I went on a terrible first date, after which I indicated to the individual that I had no desire to pursue any sort of relationship with him. However his friends were interesting, laid back and fun to be around. So when his roommate asked if I wanted to meet up with the group on a couple of occasions when the liar was not around, I saw no reason to decline. Perhaps I should have this past weekend.
First Date Fail
Seeking a Man with a Plan
I’ve recently been pondering yet another of my apparently antiquated expectations when it comes to dating. I am of the belief that when someone asks another person on a date, the asker should have a plan set in place. The askee should be informed of time, location and, if necessary, proper attire within an appropriate amount of time before said date.
The Case of the Vanishing Coward
I don’t go into dating situations expecting much. Maybe it’s because I’m realistic or maybe I’m just jaded. However, I don’t think it’s too much to expect someone to have enough consideration and respect for another human being to give them a courtesy call, e-mail or text when they no longer wish to continue seeing them. I’m not asking for a detailed explanation as to why you want to end things, a simple “hey not really into you anymore” would be fine.
Yes, No, Maybe So
I’ve decided that, in dating, there is no other response more irritating than “maybe” when it comes to making plans. What does maybe mean? You deign to spend time with me if nothing better comes along? Are you playing a game? “Yes” I get. It means, “I would love to hang out with you, thanks for asking.” Although “no” can be a little muggy, is still decipherable. If you legitimately have plans, it just means “no.” If you have no plans, it simply means “I don’t want to see you.” Either way it is much clearer than “maybe.”