Feeling nostalgic, I settled in for a self-indulgent viewing of Baz Luhrman’s Romeo + Juliet (yes Leonardo DiCaprio movies were a major influence on my teen years), and I had two thoughts. The first of which was “Paul Rudd?” Dude had some douchey roles before the world realized he was funny. The second of which is that Shakespeare (or at least misinterpretation of Shakespeare) is solely responsible for everything that is wrong with romantic ideals. I know I’m not the first to realize this, but those kids were nuts.
Confessions From the Tragic Love Life of a 16-Year-Old Girl
One of my best friends from high school recently uncovered our note notebook from our junior year. Reading it ten years later is both hysterical and heartbreaking. Among the heart-dotted eyes, Stereomud lyrics and obnoxious spellings of “nite” there is some insight into what love and boys can do to the delicate psyche of a sensitive 16-year-old girl as she struggles to find her path and figure out who she is along the way. Before I chose to combat heartbreak with sarcastic cynicism, I handled each romantic let-down with raw, unadulterated (if not immature) emotion.
Relapse
Fair warning, this post is going to be unusually emo and embarrassingly honest. I may even want to beat myself up by the time it’s over, but here we go. Whenever I spend some time with a certain former Mr. Wonderful of mine, I am filled with sappy feelings of self-pity and nostalgia. It’s not nostalgia for the relationship I had with him necessarily, more for a relationship in general.
The Only Exception
After my brother’s wedding this weekend, I’m inclined to set aside the cynicism and bitter quips for one night and wax romantic. So often weddings are sprinkled with skeptical musings and fatal predictions of cynical naysayers, but this wasn’t the case at this particular wedding. Not a single person could help but express with unfaltering confidence that they truly believed this couple had found something lasting and sincere in each other. If and when I find my spouse I can only hope to have a relationship like theirs.
White Whales and Missed Opportunities
I would guess that everyone has one or two people in their lives who have potential to be the ideal mate but for one reason or another the romantic paths never converged long enough for anything to truly develop, leaving the individuals with pangs of what ifs and if onlys. As a person who still stupidly believes in “the one” I can allay these regretful thoughts with comforting platitudes about how if it was meant to be it, it would be. Still, I can’t help but wonder if there were risks one or both individuals were willing to take or if they possessed a stronger will to make it happen, it would.
He Turns My Gray Skies Blue
This past week, I’ve come upon yet another completely obvious, but never-the-less important, requirement for my future Mr. Perfect. He needs to possess the inexplicable ability to transform my day regardless of where I’m at on the emotional spectrum. There are some people in my life who can completely turn my day around with a short conversation sprinkled with a few encouraging words. It’s not necessarily because they have brilliant advice to offer. They may not say anything more than a compassionate stranger would, but the level of trust and respect I have for them elevates their wisdom.
And There He Was?
How is it that some people wake up one day and suddenly realize that they are in love with a person they have known on a friend level for eons and others use the friend zone as a way to politely turn someone away as a romantic possibility? Is it really that these people have come to the realization that they are actually interested in their long-time pal and they suddenly see them in a brand new, romantic light? Was one party in love all along and just eventually wore the object of their affection down. Maybe an ultimatum was finally given: love me or lose me as a friend. Or is it more an act of desperation; nothing better came alone while I kept you at arm’s length so let’s do this.
For Who He Is
I was watching Californication tonight and one of the daughter’s lines inspired me. She was talking to her mother about how she made the decision to be with her father knowing all of his pitfalls and character flaws. Being the insightful 12-year-old that she is, she told her mother that she “needs to love him for who he is, not his potential.” Her mother is a mature, intelligent, together woman but she still is unable to fully understand the truth in this statement.
Love Defined
Although love means different things to different people I’ve always thought there were undeniable truths about love and what it meant to be in love. If two people loved each other, they would do anything to make it work, even if it meant making sacrifices. I’ve never been able to understand people who let go of those they “loved” because their lives changed, making a relationship difficult. To me, love always came first. If it was real love, it was worth working for. On the other hand, maybe I’m simply being naïve. Some people truly believe that love means letting go.
Love Game (I apologize for the Lady Gaga-inspired title)
Whether casual or serious, current or former, people play games in their relationships. It makes dating complicated, disheartening and exhausting. We do things to make the boy or girl on whom we have our eye jealous. We say things we don’t mean, exaggerate and flat-out lie. We employ behavior we frown upon in others. All to get something out of a relationship.