So my final day of eHarmony subscription was up this week. It marked the end of my online dating adventure. I had let my other profiles fall into the dusty, abandoned no man’s land where my Xanga and MySpace profiles have long resided. Still there, but likely to never be touched again (mostly because I’ve forgotten the passwords and don’t care to make the effort to shut them down.)
First One to the Next Wins!
Unspoken Rules And The Girls Who Unwittingly Break Them
Many moons ago, I apparently broke an unspoken rule about not kissing a guy (who we’ll call Narcissus) when his friend (we’ll call him Dodger), who just so happens to be your friend, likes you but never told you he likes you no matter how much nothing the kiss meant to you. Narcissus, who apparently knew that the liking was going on is completely off the hook though even though he was more aware of the wrong that was happening than you were. Are you confused? Me too.
The Great Text Debate
I have gone around and around with a friend of the male-type persuasion about whether or not it is acceptable to text for a date. More specifically, the first date. In my apparently antiquated opinion, a call always trumps a text message in early dating situations. To me, a call indicates a higher level of respect than a flippant text. To him, I’m “weird” and “stuck in the ‘90s.” In his defense, I still struggle to swallow the concept of an e-book. I like my printed books dammit! They smell nice and look really pretty and pretentious on my oversized bookshelves.
Sordid Histories on a Need-To-Know Basis
The dance between revealing too much or too little about your relational history can be a delicate one. As per my recent M.O. (because my own personal experiences have fallen off a cliff into turbulent waters like a spurned lover in a maritime romance novel) I came upon this topic after watching Chasing Amy. It, naturally, led to an argument with a friend about Joey Lauren’s honesty or lack thereof. I thought she had willfully deceived poor, misdirected Ben Affleck (though his solution was abhorrent and a tad insane). My friend thought she had skillfully avoided being dishonest on a technicality.
Laying it Bare
More Sunday mornings than I would like, I wake up and a feeling of guilt sets in as I remember the series of mistakes I’ve made the night before. Most of these errors in judgment are considered standard behavior for a 26-year-old single on a Saturday evening: one drink too many, dancing in a manner that wouldn’t exactly make my mama proud, associating with men who are not the righteous type (and not in an '80s catch phrase kinda way—sorry bad joke in an effort to break the tension of an altogether too serious post), etc. But these seemingly mild-mannered mistakes set my floundering Christian heart reeling with guilt. There have been times when I’ve purposefully slept through church to avoid driving the self-loathing stake deeper as I’m surrounded by fellow church goers who I’m convinced have it all figured out.
Six Years Later “The Game” Still Has Our Attention?
Years ago I read “The Game” mostly out of morbid curiosity and the desire for a mindless read. I didn’t take it too seriously and imagined it was a fad that would quickly fade. Apparently I was sadly mistaken given the fact that the practices employed by the author are alive and unwell to this day. Well, alive enough that this blogger found it worth writing about. Despite the chastising intentions laid out in the headline, 95 percent of the post explores how these skeevy pick-up artists are “meeting a very real need.”
A Critical Analysis of Romeo & Juliet
Feeling nostalgic, I settled in for a self-indulgent viewing of Baz Luhrman’s Romeo + Juliet (yes Leonardo DiCaprio movies were a major influence on my teen years), and I had two thoughts. The first of which was “Paul Rudd?” Dude had some douchey roles before the world realized he was funny. The second of which is that Shakespeare (or at least misinterpretation of Shakespeare) is solely responsible for everything that is wrong with romantic ideals. I know I’m not the first to realize this, but those kids were nuts.
I’ll Call You (Not Really)
We’ve all experienced the empty “I’ll call you.” Well all of us except those intensely beautiful, leggy girls (I hate you by the way). And despite the ubiquity of the phenomenon I am still baffled by it. I guess I can understand it when the promise is slurred as Saturday night draws to a close and you truly believe in your stupor that this is the one for you. After all she shares your love of cheap beer and secret obsession with single-name pop artists who struggle to locate the “s” on their keyboard.
The Online Saga Part 4: The Land of 1001 First Dates
I’ve quickly come to realize the world of online dating is simply one in which first dates are handed out like urine mints in a classy restaurant. Just as in a bar setting, most individuals are willing to take an hour or two to get to know a stranger they consider at least somewhat attractive. Initially upon embarking on this online endeavor I considered that one (if not the only) benefit of online dating would be the ability to pre-screen my prospects and filter out the definite “no’s” before wasting time with the face-to-face step. And while this is valid on some level, I’m beginning to think the main difference between online dating and the bar scene seems to be more in volume rather than quality of match (also the sky is blue).