There's No Explaining Attraction

I’ve had countless discussions with various people about what makes a person attractive. I’ve debated with friends about whether or not a particular guy or girl is attractive, but when it comes down to it, beauty is highly subjective and there is no explaining it. I’ve seen an absurd number of women who, in my mind, are far more attractive than the men they are with.

The Case of the Vanishing Coward

I don’t go into dating situations expecting much. Maybe it’s because I’m realistic or maybe I’m just jaded. However, I don’t think it’s too much to expect someone to have enough consideration and respect for another human being to give them a courtesy call, e-mail or text when they no longer wish to continue seeing them. I’m not asking for a detailed explanation as to why you want to end things, a simple “hey not really into you anymore” would be fine.

Yes, No, Maybe So

I’ve decided that, in dating, there is no other response more irritating than “maybe” when it comes to making plans. What does maybe mean? You deign to spend time with me if nothing better comes along? Are you playing a game? “Yes” I get. It means, “I would love to hang out with you, thanks for asking.” Although “no” can be a little muggy, is still decipherable. If you legitimately have plans, it just means “no.” If you have no plans, it simply means “I don’t want to see you.” Either way it is much clearer than “maybe.”

The Perfect Formula

Is the real answer to romance nothing more than calculus? Web sites like eHarmony seem to think so. They take one of the most complex human phenomena and reduce it to oversimplified formulas. If A enjoys 3 and B enjoys 7 then A + B = <3.

The thing that shocks me most about this, is that it actually seems to work for some people. I know one individual who met his future wife on eHarmony. He really believes he found his perfect mate. However, I wonder if this case isn’t an exception based on the personalities involved.

He has always been malleable when it comes to relationships. He tends to take on the personality of the girl he is dating. Perhaps eHarmony was the perfect venue for him to become the ideal solution for this girl’s equation. But does it work for the average person?

I can’t necessarily speak with authority on this subject because I’ve never actually attempted to date via one of these sites, but I really can’t imagine that something as intricate and abstruse as romance could be deciphered with a few keystrokes. But far be it from me to repudiate a site reportedly marries off 236 couples every day. So if it works for you, then best wishes to you and your scientifically-matched significant other.

Don't Hate the Pawns, Hate the Player

Why is it that as women we so often view other women as enemies? This is especially true when we fall prey to the manipulative games men play when seducing multiple women at once. I have seen this game played so expertly that the guy will have the women he is sleeping with all together in one place and not only do they not realize that they are all being used by the same man, but they will instantly turn on each other.

The Cheater Phenomenon

You can stop groaning and sighing because this post isn’t inspired by Tiger Woods’s epic infidelity. It was spurred by the absurd anecdotes I’ve recently heard about faithlessness in new relationships, long-term relationships, marriages, etc. In this week alone, a friend of mine found out that his aunt had been cheating on his uncle for years, he then discovered that the uncle had also been habitually cheating for years. 

For Who He Is

I was watching Californication tonight and one of the daughter’s lines inspired me. She was talking to her mother about how she made the decision to be with her father knowing all of his pitfalls and character flaws. Being the insightful 12-year-old that she is, she told her mother that she “needs to love him for who he is, not his potential.” Her mother is a mature, intelligent, together woman but she still is unable to fully understand the truth in this statement.